Making “here” your happy place

Find your happy place and stay “there” as long as you can. Because when you leave, you’ll be going back to where you came from and what you came “here” to lose. Photo by Tom Chillemi

by Tom Chillemi – 

Why does Friday seem to take so long to arrive, but the weekend goes by so quickly? 

And, have you ever noticed that it seems to take longer to get some place that you really want to be, like the Rivah; while the trip home seems to go much quicker? 

These are conflicts of “here” and “there”— problems caused by anticipating goals, be they good or bad. 

“There” is the goal, where you want to be. “Here” is where you are. 

The “here and there conflict” is also evident in time goals — “now and then.” For instance, Friday or vacation comes so slow, and your time “there” is over too fast.

“There” always seems to be further away than it is, especially when you really anticipate getting there. 

Hold the thoughts

Even if “there” is good, after you’ve been “there” for a while it begins to feel like “here,” then it’s time to go “there,” again. 

The cycle doesn’t end unless you make it stop. And some people are only happy a short time “here,” then they want to be “there”—until they are there—then it’s time to again go somewhere . . . anywhere. Let me out of here!

This cycle springs from the hope that things will be better “there.” And they will be, for a while. Then it’s time to go. Again. 

Even dogs want to go “there,” and make the daily rounds and socialize. In nature, movement is necessary to find food and to stay alive. And from the way humans have created excuses to move around, it’s still essential to our lives. How many forms of entertainment involve movement? Just about all of them. 

Finding contentment 

It’s almost impossible to just sit on a front porch and enjoy the view, if something is bothering you. You can’t enjoy being “here” if your mind is “there.” 

It’s easier to stay on the porch if you want less. Chasing more of everything wears you down. The farther you look for happiness outside of yourself, the farther away it is.

Life is a series of goals. It seems we’re always working towards the next thing— making the team, graduating from school, getting married, buying a house, having children, working towards retirement.

It’s good to have something to look forward to, so long as the future doesn’t invade the present. 

Remember, if you anticipate the future too much you ruin the chance to enjoy the moment — the here and now. You will get so excited you can’t sit still. And, then it’s goodbye to the front porch. 

Commitments 

Have you ever known people who, when you’re trying to talk to them, look like they’re some place else.  They’re not “here” in their mind; they’re already “there,” working towards a goal, wanting that goal to be completed. 

Rivah Visitor's Guide Staff
Rivah Visitor's Guide Staffhttps://www.rivahguide.com
The Rivah Visitor’s Guide provides information about places to go and things to do throughout the Northern Neck and Middle Peninsula of Virginia’s Chesapeake Bay region, from the York River to the Potomac River.

Related Reading

‘World’s Flattest Marathon’: Quality experiences for all runners

Fewer than one percent of people in the world will ever complete a marathon in their lifetime. Runners dedicate months of...

Fall is festival time in the Northern Neck

What better way to kick off autumn than with family-friendly festivals. Although there are dozens of festivals, from those centered around our...

The Tavern Cafe: A simple retreat for a...

Stepping into Rice’s Hotel/Hughlett’s Tavern is stepping between then and now. The building, with some portions dating from the late 1700s,...
Easterforshrff_300x250
MPMCPiers
DrKeeney
Malise2026

The Fishing Line

Salty tales and fish scales – the bay buffet 

If forty years of steering folks across the Chesapeake Bay and its twisting tributaries has taught me anything, it’s that Mother Nature has a...

It Happened Here

It Happened Here: Dimes, Quarters, Watermelons & Newspapers

The Simmons brothers, Wroten and Stewart of Lancaster County, owned the Chesapeake Bay buyboat “Seven Brothers.” They are the same Simmons who lived on...

The Tavern Cafe: A simple retreat for a satisfying bite to eat

Stepping into Rice’s Hotel/Hughlett’s Tavern is stepping between then and now. The building, with some portions dating from the late 1700s, houses the Northern...
Kilmarnock
clear sky
54.5 ° F
55.2 °
52.8 °
96%
0mph
0%
Thu
72 °
Fri
73 °
Sat
62 °
Sun
64 °
Mon
53 °

Local Tides